In nursing school, I felt a connection with other nurses-to-be. It felt as though we were in this together even though we came from different backgrounds, were in different age groups and had different life experiences. I imagined being a nurse would be the same. Boy, was I wrong, Do not misunderstand, I love being a nurse and have had more good experiences than bad, but it is the bad that clings to you. What is it they say? “It takes one person to ruin your day and ten people to lift you up?” That may not be accurate, but it feels true. I am not certain of what possesses one person to bully another, but I do know bullying has no place in nursing.
I have been a nurse since my early 20s. My husband and I had two children and a massive amount of debt, partially due to my educational endeavors. Fresh out of school, I went to work in slightly faded but exceptionally comfortable scrubs. I lived in a poor county in West Virginia, so I never felt out of place until one day a much older nurse commented on my attire. Her tone was obviously meant to humiliate and condescend since her words were derogatory and she did it in front of an audience. This was not her only insulting comment directed at me.
To give a little back story, I was working at a company which provided staffing for local hospitals. I am certain this garnered some resentment from her since she was a full-time employee at one of these facilities. It was well known the hourly rate for float nurses were much higher than permanent nursing staff albeit without benefits.
She seemed to take issue with all float nurses. I tried not to take it personally, but the experience certainly dampened my enthusiasm as a new nurse. Unfortunately, it was one of the facilities most in need, so I was sent there often. And since it was a small hospital, I was usually assigned to the same medical surgical unit that she frequented. Each day on the drive to work, I would pray for her to have the day off.
Avoidance was the path of least resistance. And, since I did not want to make waves in a facility I had no stake in, it seemed like the right decision. I could have quit or requested another assignment, but the hospital was close to where I lived and since I am a tad bit passive aggressive and it annoyed her that I was there, well…
Plus, the nature of nursing is such busy work, avoiding others is extremely easy. I usually charted in the halls and stayed close to my assigned rooms in case my patients were in need. It was simple to avoid the nursing station and other communal areas.
In retrospect, I wonder if that was the best approach. I am sure I was not the only victim of her ire. Although that behavior was tolerated by her coworkers and I would go as far as to say encouraged, it was not appropriate for her to criticize others for the sole purpose of intimidation.
My first action should have been to take it to her direct supervisor and inquire about procedural options for lodging a complaint. Because I was unsure of the politics of that hospital, I was hesitant to make anything official by filling out the appropriate paperwork. I wish I would have overcome these concerns and took the necessary steps. Even if nothing more occurred than pen being put to paper, a pattern of behavior would have been documented for that nurse.
At the time, it seemed like a tedious process and may have made things worse for me and possibly the other floats. But going forward with that small act could have helped change the working environment at that facility. Today, I feel it was a missed opportunity.
That experience may have prompted me to take new nurses “under my wing” over the years. Even though it has been a long time since I began my career, I still remember what it was like to be new and vulnerable. The scary and overwhelming feelings regarding the case load and the consequences of mistakes. The self-degradation that we as nurses put ourselves through only to be humiliated and berated by those that are supposed to be our cheerleaders. It is unacceptable.
Nursing is a caring profession. Yet, some treat their fellow nurses without any regard for their mental or physical wellbeing. To me, it is a sad contradiction that has no place in our industry.
Looking forward, to any nurse who bullies another, I will say, “You should consider another career. Obviously, nursing is not for you.”
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